Noddin’ my head like yeaahhh….

Guilty pleasures….ain’t nothin’ like ‘em. We all have them, no one can deny it. Look at Halloween – it usually ends up being one big guilty pleasure-filled fest, particularly ridden with scantily clad females and guys dressed in some ambiguously gay get up…last night, we actually saw two guys who were probably anything but, dressed as the Ambiguously Gay duo from SNL - and they looked amazing!!! This is the one night a year where everyone usually lets it all hang out, so to speak. And for the most part, that’s cool.
Back it up a bit to a few weekends ago in my “ever-so-social” life, I was hanging out at a little place called The Shadow Lounge on the east end of Pittsburgh. I usually enjoy going there with a bunch of friends, dancing to throw back Motown, soul music and other melodic goodies. I run into lots of people I know that I don’t expect to see (this is a good thing), I end up knowing people that work there, and dancing my proverbial (I stress proverbial) pants off. To me, the Shadow Lounge draws a good range of people and they’re all pretty open and respectful of each other. It’s different from your usual popped collar, fake baked dance club crowds (not that there’s anything wrong with that………). It’s refreshing, if you will.
This last visit was a little different. About a half hour in, the crowd became…how do I say this…….your typical dance club crowd. A group of drunk girls swarmed around me and my friends and usually this is to be slightly expected – after all, it’s a bar and there’s (gasp!) alcohol. But these girls obviously arrived intoxicated, which again, I usually don’t judge. Drink up, have a good time, whatever. It’s when the group starts to invade everyone else’s space and annoy us to no end, that I start the eye-rolling. The night was not off to a great start so disappointment ensued, especially because I had, with all intents and purposes, gone out that night to ward off a day’s worth of negativity. I wanted to shake it off and cap my day with a good note (pun?). Amidst the slight annoyance starting to boil within, a guy that I don’t know very well who was part of my group, asked me what seemed to be an innocent enough question, after one of the inebriated girls let out an intensely loud YELP when “her song” came on. He screamed in my ear “Why do women DO THAT?!” He was referring to what I will call the drunken “OMG, THEY’RE PLAYING MY SONG!!!” scream that you hear on dance floors country wide.
Self check: I do that to an extent. I won’t deny it. In the right company, with the right amount of alcohol and excitement, I have to admit….it’s something that happens to most women in groups, large or small. It’s a form of expression for us and when we feel it coming on, we just can’t help ourselves. I want to say it’s biological, but I could be mistaken. This is where it gets fuzzy though. Said guy from the above paragraph, continued to explain to me, after I gave him a semi-baffled look in response to his question “..well, you’re a woman. You should know why you act like that.”………..Act like that. Understandable and interesting. A little resent worthy.
These girls had nothing new going on. They were just drunk twenty-somethings, with too much bare skin exposed to the crisp autumn night, falling over their stilettos into my group of friends and cracking up afterward instead of apologizing. I’d seen that. But I dare say, I avoid being that. I think there’s a vast different between being out with your friends, having a good time and being pumped about it, and getting sloppy drunk with clones of you, plus your also half naked mom (what was SHE doing there?). I love almost all music and yes, I get excited about certain songs that would otherwise be lame but happen to be ones Iv’e created memories to (namely with other females). I don’t center my Saturday nights around the newest club, the hottest crowds or latest fashion trends, and I certainly didn’t that night. So I guess what prompted this person’s question in my general direction was his observation of this yawn-inducing social female norm and the fact that we obviously don’t know each other very well. I looked at him and asked a question back: “Do I look like I know the answer to that question?” I hoped he would say no.
Ladies…..keep it classy. Have a good time with your girls, get drinks, go out dancing and yeah, even jump up and down when your song comes on. It’s fun, it’s passionate, it’s almost inevitable if you’re being yourself. But I beg you – refrain from jumping up on the nearest chair and shaking your pelvic region to the beat of Prince’s “Pussy Control” while your friend’s hands are framing your crotch (unfortunately, I saw that last night too). It’s not sexy, it’s just trashy. Guys don’t want to see that – WAIT – some guys may want to see that….but at the end of the night, they don’t respect it. And you may not be out to gain other people’s respect, but at least respect yourself. Believe me, it comes off way more attractive than your slutted out version of Raggedy Anne costume. The suggestions you’re advertising do more long term damage than the short term attention you’re getting.
So throw your hands up, they’re playing your song…..Just try not to throw your hands up, while spilling your drink on your neighbor, squeezing your eyes shut and yowling “WHOOOOOOOOO” in the bar tender’s face.

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